Humvees, Hummers, Ha ha

I’m in the market for a vehicle.  It’s got to be expensive, impractical, uncomfortable, and not be able to haul much.  What do you recommend?

Well, have you considered a Humvee?

Who are the bigger idiots?  The people who bought these?


Humvees Sell for up to $42K in First Public Auction of Military Truck
Humvee-Auction-600x400It was a military bake sale of sorts. For the first time in history, the U.S. military auctioned off some of its surplus Humvees to the public.
And truck-lovers responded in kind, paying as much as $41,000 for the iconic military vehicle that entered service in the mid-1980s, spawned a commercial version called the Hummer in the 1990s and was replaced in the 2000s by bigger, more blast-resistant trucks known as MRAPs during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Or the people who bought these?

Overpriced, under-practical, but at least you get to show everyone what a fool you are with your money.

I can still remember when the military first started using Humvees and some people predicted that one day, they would be able to score a used one for next to nothing, like with a surplus military Jeep, right after WWII.  Coincidentally, this happened just as the last of the rumors of the availability of unused surplus army Jeeps still in some secret warehouse, finally died.

Well it didn’t turn out that way, did it?  Partly because there were many, many more Jeeps available in the mid to late ‘40’s than there are Humvees today.  With the Jeeps, the supply side was easy to understand.  After WWII, our government had literally thousands of Jeeps that they didn’t know what to do with.  Selling them for whatever they could get, made more sense than scrapping them.  The demand side of the surplus Jeeps was also easy to understand.  There was a huge shortage of consumer vehicles after the war, an equally large increase of consumers, consisting of soldiers being discharged from duty.  Also, the Jeeps filled a market niche that had never been successfully filled by auto manufacturers before the war - a small, cheap four wheel drive vehicle.

It’s only natural that some people would predict that once the first Humvees were retired from military service, we would see a repeat of the WWII Jeep scenario, but they failed to take into account that the supply/demand equation is totally different with the Humvees.  The difference with supply is obvious.  There are nowhere near as many used Humvees available as there were Jeeps and the Humvees are much, much more used.  WWII only lasted about four years.  How old could most of those Jeeps even have been, after the war?  

You will often hear stories about wastefull military spending.  Not so with the Humvees.  Our armed forces made sure that they got every last dime out of them.  The used Humvees available today were made in the late ‘80’s and early ‘90’s.  Old enough to have antique license plates, if they were street legal, which they are not, and that leads us to the demand side of the Humvee equation.

The WWII Jeeps were everything the Humvees are not.  Cheap, easily accessible, cheap and easy to repair, street legal, virtually no competitors in the current civilian market, and with a huge supply of parts and accessories available from both OEM and aftermarket manufacturers.

The demand side of the used Humvee market is the puzzling thing.  Given their shortcomings when compared to the WWII Jeeps (and any other truck, for that matter), what idiot would even consider buying one?  At least we now how many retards are willing to part with $40,000 for worn out quarter century old, piece of junk that you cannot even drive on a public road.

The used WWII Jeeps didn’t explode onto the civilian market because they were any good.  It was because they were cheap and about the only game in town.  They were actually pieces of crap, even by mid-twentieth century standards.  They were crude and woefully underpowered.  As soon as the auto manufactures recognized the market for four wheel drive trucks, the Jeep brand all but disappeared.  For years, they were glorified Gremlins, when owned by AMC, and since have been injected with Chrysler K-car DNA. (not entirely true, but I love saying it.)  Yeah, you’ll see various suv’s with a Jeep name on them, but they are really no more of a classic Jeep than a Dodge Durango.

Jeeps have always sucked compared to almost any other manufacturer, but don’t take my word for it.  Just look at sales figures.  Think about how many more Ford and Chevy 4X4’s were sold than Jeeps.  It’s not even close, not to mention all the other competitors.  Think about how many more Toyota 4X4’s you see than Jeeps.

To fully understand just how poor a vehicle Jeeps really are, all you have to do is look out the window of your car when you go for a drive.  How many Jeeps do you see with ladder racks or snowplows?  None?  That’s because people that really need to depend on a truck to make their living, know that Jeeps are about the worst choice you can make for a practical work vehicle.  Don’t try to dispute me on this.  It’s not me, buying all of those thousands and thousands of non-Jeep vehicles.  If you disagree me, you’re saying that all those thousands of people are wrong and you’re right, and if you want to stand on that dangerous ground, be my guest.

Now don’t feel too bad, all you Jeep lovers out there.  Compared to a Humvee, a Jeep is a marvelous vehicle. I like Jeeps.  If they are the right ones with the right modifications, and even if they are not remotely close to being practical.  There are few things cooler than an old Willys Jeep with an aftermarket overdrive (four stickshifts, what chick could drive that?) and small block Chevy.

Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

There is one other vehicle that all Jeeps (even the Compass and Liberty) stand head and shoulders above, and that is the civilian Hummer.  The Hummer when you consider initial cost vs practicality, is perhaps the worst American vehicle ever made.  Once again, don’t argue with me on this.  It’s hard to think of a recent nameplate with a shorter lifespan.  When GM was in trouble, they didn’t discontinue Chevy or GMC trucks, did they?  They dumped the Hummer like a hot potato.

No comments:

Post a Comment