The Accurate Top Ten List of Worst Cars Ever Made

You’ve all seen ‘em.  The top ten lists of the worst cars ever made.  There lots of them out there and they’re almost all identical,  By now, just about any one of you reading this could replicate these lists - Pintos, Vegas, Gremlins, you know the drill.  These top ten worst car lists are just about the most gutless thing anyone who claims to have any expertise in the area could ever write about.  You’ve probably noticed that there’s hardly anything original on these lists and there about as close to plagiarism as anything ever could be, but so many people have beaten this dead horse that’s probably impossible to determine who the original author ever was.


It’s time for someone who makes a practice of rejecting conventional wisdom to rewrite the top ten list of worst cars of all time, and I’m just the guy to do it.  


The Top Ten Worst Cars of All Time
1. Any car that cost over $150,000

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I don’t care how fast it is.  I don’t care how luxurious it is.  I don’t care about how well it was reviewed by anyone in the automotive press.  At that price it has no excuse to not be perfect in every way, but the desire for perfection itself, is a flaw.  It indicates the inability to understand the concept of diminishing marginal returns, a key element of success in life.  People who lack this ability are said to have obsessive/compulsive disorder.  Do you really want to pay to have this designed into your car?  People who buy cars like this think that they send a message to others, and they’re right.  That message is “I’m an egotistical, self-centered asshole.”


Value for the dollar, always was, and always must be, the primary factor when determining the how good (or bad) any car or truck actually is.


2. Any car made in France

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Thank god, they’re unreliable.  The more time they spend in the repair shop, the less time you will have to spend driving one.  That means that fewer people will see you driving one.  Those ski masks get hot in the summertime and you just know the air conditioning won’t be working.


3. Any mid engine car.

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Yes, many race cars have a mid engine design.  So what?  Who cares?  Many race cars also lack doors, heaters, radios, passenger seats. etc.  Do you want to drive a car that doesn’t have those?  Race car features more often than not, are negatives on passenger cars where practicality and serviceability must come first.  Thank God that so far, Chevrolet has resisted the temptation to make the Corvette have a mid engine design.



4. Chevy Vega

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Not for any of the reasons that you usually hear, OK for a lot of the reasons that you usually hear, but mostly because the Vega is the epitome of everything wrong with GM.  They took a fantastic idea and absolutely ruined it.  
Not only was the Vega the exact right type of vehicle for the time, but in my opinion, the ‘71-’73 Vega was the best looking small car ever made.  Just look at that picture above and compare it to the Camaro below.

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GM really had something there, but they just had to get cheap with both the initial design and refusing to fix problems that turned up later.  Typical GM behavior.  They never learn.  Vegas sold like hot cakes for the first few years, and if GM would have given the car the attention that it deserved, the model name would still be alive today, and perhaps we would have never heard of many of the imports that are common today.  The Vega will forever be the symbol of what could have been for GM, but wasn’t.


5. Ford Pinto
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Another car that was perfect for it’s time, relatively good looking, and sold well, but its manufacturer refused to take care of its inherent defects once they were known.  Ford gambled on this and lost, just like GM did, half assing it on the Vega, and both of them paid dearly for it.  The world would be a much different place today if Ford and GM wouldn’t have dropped the ball on these two cars.


6. Jaguars

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Don’t like cheap, unreliable, French cars?  Cross the channel and get an expensive, unreliable car.  I will give them credit for being vastly improved over recent years, but they still have that well deserved reputation.


7. ‘73, ‘74 GM Trucks
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This picture was taken in 1975

They had great drive trains and were the best looking (when brand new) trucks of a generation that lasted 15 years, but you just can’t get away with building a truck that rusted that quickly.  The ‘75-’80 GM trucks also rusted badly, but every year, seemed to get a little better.


8. (Many) Cars that won the Motor Trend “Car of the year” award.  Shame on you, if you read this publication, or assume that that it has any credibility.  If you fall into this category, read this list, and you will immediately fall out of it.  Check out the cars that I highlighted in yellow.

Motor Trend’s Cars of the Year source: Wikipedia

1993 Ford Probe GT
1992 Cadillac Seville Touring Sedan
1991 Chevrolet Caprice Classic LTZ
1986 Ford Taurus LX
1985 Volkswagen GTI (eligible due to it being built in VW's now-defunct Pennsylvania plant)
1981 Chrysler K Cars, Dodge Aries and Plymouth Reliant
1978 Chrysler, Dodge Omni and Plymouth Horizon
1976 Chrysler, Dodge Aspen and Plymouth Volare
1975 Chevrolet Monza 2+2
1974 Ford Mustang II
1972 Citroën SM (an imported vehicle that was selected overall "Car of the Year")


Gullible people assume that these “Car of the year” and “Truck of the year” awards are reliable predictors of a vehicles quality and value.  They are not, but that’s a story for another day.


I actually like (or at least have some amount of respect for) many of those cars highlighted in yellow, but I don’t have the audacity to tell everyone that any particular car was the greatest one made that year, and then only a few years later, say that it’s the biggest piece of shit ever made and assume that the people I said this to, are so stupid that they won’t remember my inconsistencies.  It’s happening with the Chevy Volt right now.  Motor Trend, and other publications like it, have absolutely no credibility at all.


It will happen to the Tesla next, and you all know that I have already said that the Tesla is an overpriced failure, just waiting to happen as soon as the government subsidy disappears.


9. Hummers

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Shortly before these came out, many people were thinking that they would be able to get a modern day equivalent of the the old surplus army Jeeps, but the Hummer was everything the Jeeps were not.  Big, bulky, ridiculously expensive to buy, drive, and maintain, and totally impractical for modification for use as actual work vehicles.  They were probably the worst off road vehicle ever made, because who was going to take a $50,000 and up, vehicle and run it through the brush and the mud?  Some people did, but there’s only so many rich, stupid, people that enjoy doing that kind of thing, out there. I suppose the only thing more ridiculous would be, having a Hummer and never taking it off of a paved road, which has been exactly the life of 90% of Hummers ever sold.


10. Electric cars.Tesla-Model-S.jpg
There are so many reasons why electric cars are a bad idea that I don’t have room to mention them all here.  If you are a regular reader of the Golden Geese, you already know why.  Here’s the short version:  They are essentially broke down, one third of the day, every day, and if you are pinning any hopes on a future proliferation of quick charge stations, just ask a diesel car owner what the number one inconvenience of owning one of them is, and there will never be as many quick charge stations as there are diesel fuel pumps.




9 comments:

  1. This reminds me of my father. Every car he ever bought was a lemon, I have the same run of luck with women.
    I think he probably had several cars on this list.
    C.J.

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    1. You mean your father had a Bugatti, a Jaguar, and a Hummer? Or, was he a smart man who put over 100,000 miles on a $2000 Pinto or Vega? Owning a poor car is not necessarily a negative reflection on its owner. You seem like a smart man C.J. If your father had any part in producing you, he couldn't have been all bad.

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  2. I have to agree with a lot of those choices. Not Jaguars though. Drive one. For a tiny company (less than 50K car per year) they did alright. They do require someone with mechanical sympathy to be trouble free. I have owned quite a few over the years, and the crap reputation makes them excellant cheap cars. I have a 93 now for a daily driver. I paid a grand for it when it had 70K miles needing the AC fixed. Nothing like a 60K car for pretty much free... I have had it almost 10 years and its coming up on 130K... Trouble free.

    The Vega was really a decent car. They should have worked the design flaws out of the engine bay, and pressed on. But no, they turned it into a Monza. Wow.

    What about the true penalty box cars like geo metros with the giant killer 3 cylinder engines, base Mitsubishi mirages and the like? No matter what cars like that cost, you had to hate them long before the payments ran out. Remember 12 inch tires? And I don't mean wide either...

    The Delorean... Crap car, and the bonus of a French engine, in the back...Sacre bleu.

    TR7s the shape of things to come they said. The shape of things that came and went. So bad they killed a state owned car company. I remember seeing one leaking a puddle of coolant, In The Showroom.

    Saabs once GM bought them. Holy crap. Its late and words just fail me.

    I saved the best for last Diesel Rabbit. I had one, and it always ran, got great fuel milage. The dashboard turned into a blur at idle it shook so hard And it had, no kidding 52 brake horsepower. When it was new. The geniuses at VW blessed it with the 3 plus E transmission. It was like a 5 speed with no 4th gear. Uphill, you would rev the crap out of it in 3rd, or shift to 4th and go slower still, requiring a downshift to 3rd. Rinse and repeat...A truly epic car. Built in Pennsylvania to boot..

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    1. The cars on this list are more jabs at their manufacturer than the cars themselves. Many of the cars had the potential to be great cars. but the manufacturers didn't give them the attention they deserved.

      I love Vegas and Monzas. Had one of each with a 350 V8. I surprised a lot of people with those cars.

      I liked the Geo Metro. It did exactly what it was designed to do - inexpensively deliver superior fuel economy.

      I agree with you on the DeLorean. A V6? A V6? In a car that claims to be a sports car? They should have had Chevy small blocks.

      I know what you're talking about on the Rabbit tranny. Fourth gear went out on my Honda Civic, and I had to drive it for a year that way, until I found a trans on Craigslist for $50.

      Agree with what you say on the Jags too. Just because a car can be a disappointment for the masses, that doesn't mean that you can't have a good experience with it. if you are familiar with it and know what to do to overcome it's faults.

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  3. This article is total garbage. His credibility is totally thrown out the window with pictures alone. first example is comparing a custom vega (personal preference) with the Camaro. You mentioned problems but didn't specify. this takes about 5 seconds. But a bit of detail is do to using different metals in the engine as well as poor design. and with no overflow coolant the engine would overheat. The second is with the rusted gm truck. look in the back ground by the front window. since when did they Have mini vans like that in the 70's?

    Now what is worse is saying that any car over 150k is bad.......Most vehicles that are priced over that actually have the best warranties and customer care as well as great care into the vehicle, Always a few exceptions though. Also the Veyron actually costs more to build than it does to sell. In other words. you could buy one cheaper than ever trying to manufacture it. VW actually lost money on this vehicle.
    Any car from france???? really? considering the Peugeot was actually a quality car maker during the 70 and 80s. just to expensive vs American and Japanese cars.
    Hummers have been around since 1980s, started in 79. This was specifically designed for military use. It has been MODIFIED for dozens of uses from medical transport, mobile missile units, troop transport and to haul cargo. It was later adapted for civilian use. these vehicles are still rugged and well built. they will last a long time. Engines on them are built tough as well and will last a long time if cared for.

    Where is the pinto? That was known as a death trap with its poor design and gas tank placement. This is one to be on everyones list. all of your data is personal preference and opinion and based on no real actual facts.

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    1. I would have to say that your comment is total garbage, especially since you were too big of a pussy to sign your real name. Since I have the courage to sign my name to what I write, that pretty much automatically gives me more credibility than you. Do you really want me to respond, or are you just some jerk-off who posts comments and never looks back? Where is the Pinto? Where is the Pinto? Did you even read the article? I can respond to each of your points if you'd like. Just leave a comment, but grow a pair, and sign your real name.

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