Yeah, it's Nowhere Near as Good, but at Least, it Costs More

By now, you know.  Once get I on subject, I like to just stay on it, and beat it into the ground, long after any normal person would care to listen anymore.
“That’s why nobody likes you.”
Shut the fuck up!  There’s all kinds of reasons why no one likes me.  Now, where was I?  Oh, yeah, I love to keep beating a dead horse, but that’s because as soon as I’m done with a rant, I always think of something else and say to myself, “Oh man, I shoulda said that too!”

There’s a certain kind of insanity out there that leads some people to think that it’s OK to deviate from your previously stated principles, as long as you spend a lot of money.  Take the show “This Old House” for example.  

I was watching an episode where the host was discussing replacing windows.  First he showed a modern, energy saving, draft free, maintenance free, triple glazed window with built in screen, and lifetime warranty, that sold for about $200.  He said that they weren’t going to go with those though, because they didn’t fit in with the character of the house.  Instead, they chose to go with a single glazed, multiple pane, wooden, reproduction, with period correct, wavy glass, that only went for about $750 per window.  Good call!

Now some people might be willing to cut them some slack, because at least in theory, they were going for an authentic restoration, but in the very next breath, the host said, “Now let’s go over to Bob, who’s going to show us the state-the-art security and home entertainment systems that we will be installing.

Now maybe it’s just me, but I would say that cameras, motion detectors, a keypad on either side of the wall near the front door, and a big screen TV, with surround sound, would be more of a tip off, that I have not gone back in time, when I entered the house, than the windows.  You gotta give ‘em credit for being consistent.  Both the windows and the security and entertainment systems were very expensive.

Of course this kind of warped thinking also spills over into the world of classic cars.  Go ahead and stick with those messy OEM batteries with the individual vent caps, 200 cold cranking amps, and one year warranty, that sell for twice what you would pay for a better battery at any discount store.  Keep those shitty, skinny, bias ply tires with no traction. (It’s probably the only way you can get that weak, factory spec motor to light ‘em up anyway.)  Retain those potentially deadly drum brakes on all four corners, and that single pot master cylinder, and by all means, keep those points and condensers.  That big HEI distributor cap is ugly.  Never mind that’s totally hidden by the air cleaner.  All these items are unquestionably inferior, but at least they cost more. (Either through original purchase price, or in terms of maintenance.)

Hey, hey!  Ho, ho!
Those fender skirts have got to go!

Which do you like better?

Flames and mags,  you can't beat 'em.
You just know it's got a motor under the
hood too.

What would you rather drive?

Now after wasting all that money on inferior parts, just so you can claim that your car is “all original”, how do you justify the modern base coat/ clear coat paint on top and all the powder coated shit on the bottom?  You can’t can you?  Or, maybe you can, because all the rich idiots like you, say that it’s OK.


  1. Unrelated to the post but I have a car question. Not a cool car like these but a new, stupid car question. I have a 2011 Ford Edge...real piece of crap. It has started smelling like rotten eggs...catalytic converter? Just wondering if you think that might be the problem. Thanks......

    1. You are almost certainly correct about it probably being the cat. You could have a bad O2 sensor, or a bad injector, but if your car isn't throwing any codes up, it's going to be hard to tell. Most O2 sensors are cheap enough to give replacing one a try. You can try running a few tanks of premium through, or using a pour in the tank fuel injector cleaner. You might have to bite the bullet and take it to the dealer or other repair shop. Chances are they've seen it before and will know what to do. There's also plenty of info on the web. It's a shame, they look like they'd be nice practical all purpose cars. I have a coworkers that's not satisfied with his either.